We REALLY like to TORTURE!

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Get your own

We in Britain are a beacon of hope and light in this dangerous world! Democracy must be protected. The democratic right to exploit the poor, disadvantaged and destitute and to torture anyone who gets in our way!

Torture!

This is what makes Britain truly a great land!

The Post Valentine's Day Blues

Yo, get with the programme! Valentine's Day is a sham! We here at CWP know this and despise all of you for it! And so, if you are stuck with a special someone who you think is not that special, then we have a few hints and tips to help you get rid of them...

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Get your own

So go on, take our suggestions lightly and laugh at us. But remember, you will b stuck with them next year. Candyman...hahaha

(Goldtop - Valentine Hater)

The Post Valentine's Day Blues...

Captain Goldtop's 'Horror' Scopes!

I hate you all. You puny little humans. All that energy you expend on your existence and for what. So each day you can decide how to lead your puny little lives based on the ramblings of some cobweb covered charlatan? Well, I can do a better job than all of them put together!

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Yes, feel how insignificant you are compared to my superior brain!

(Goldtop)

Captain Goldtop's Horror-Scopes!

It's an Election Year! (1)

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Get your own

And so we're off. On one side we have the incumbent Labour Party who are desperate to cling onto power despite the fact that they are truly awful. And on the other hand we have the Conservatives who are desperate to assume their natural position as Lord and Masters of the Universe. Great. Oh, and then there are the Lib Dems who have not got a hope in hell. This is choice, this is the mother of all democracies! This is Great Britain!

Tooth Decay

Oh, how I wish for a Hung Parliament. Then something productive might actually happen...